numpty

numpty
1. (Numpty) (1299↑, 203↓)
Scottish usage: a) Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others. b) A good humoured admonition, a term of endearment c) A reckless, absent minded or unwise person

a) "No. That wisnae wit she meant, ya big numpty\!" b) i.e. "Silly billy", "You big dafty" c) "That numpty's driving with no lights on\!"

2. (numpty) (786↑, 268↓)
A person who never has or never will have a f*ing clue what he is doing

Bobby Gould

3. (numpty) (480↑, 148↓)
An idiot, a silly person

"You're going to look like a right numpty."

4. (Numpty) (264↑, 102↓)
a scottish term, short for numb-skull. idiot pratt wally

" away n'shite, ya fuckin' Numpty "

Author: Lord Howard Hurtz http://numpty.urbanup.com/574425
5. (numpty) (235↑, 120↓)
Numpty first surfaced on the terraces of west of Scotland football grounds, many many years ago. A player who couldn't hit a cow's arse with a shovel would be a f***ing numpty.

"Awww Jimmy you f************ing numpty\!\! You couldnae score wi' ma' sister\!"

6. (numpty) (141↑, 45↓)
Dialect, chiefly scots. A bumbling fool or one who is intellectually challanged. (plural : numpties)

"they numpties couldnae organise a pissup in a brewery." In reference to MSPs( members of scottish parliment)

7. (numpty) (137↑, 68↓)
a person so stupid they are incapable of understanding the simpliest of things

John Hall is a Numpty for his festive headwear

8. (numpty) (35↑, 21↓)
Numpty - (pronounced nump - ti) An individual with little or no understanding of a subject, who may find it difficult to learn by experience e.g. "See you? Ye're a grade-wan numpty - flyin' colours, nae kiddin'\!"

Examples of people who are numpties: Tony Blair (particularly with regard to his understanding of the UK electorate) "Dubya" Bush (for his services to Play Station sales)

Author: not really me http://numpty.urbanup.com/326821
9. (numpty) (19↑, 8↓)
An idiot or fool. Often used to chastise someone

You numpty\! You were meant to put the lid on first\!

10. (Numpty) (17↑, 8↓)
A person of very low intelligence

"She is an absolute Numpty"

11. (numpty) (16↑, 9↓)
A knucklehead or other not-quite-so-smart person.

Scott: Ow, I just hit my head on the ceiling\! Katie: You numpty.

12. (numpty) (31↑, 27↓)
someone who is so fucking irritating that they manage to get under your skin and make your blood boil with their painful slowness and stupity

that guy was a total fucking numpty

13. (numpty) (25↑, 22↓)
A complete Tard, Someone that doesn't know their arse hole from their Ear hole\! Someone that has to have every little thing repeated to them at least twice..... repeated to them at least twice\!

That bloke is such a numpty, I made his password his first name and I still had to spell it for him \!

14. (numpty) (11↑, 9↓)
In the kitchen, a 'numpty' refers to the person or persons who : a) Leave empty boxes in fridges and storage areas b) thaw chicken stock in hot water c) use 9 different containers for the same product d) dont have a clue of wtf is going on around them

"That new kid is a right numpty" "have you seen the numpty who left this empty box in the freezer?"

Author: Phil Scarfone http://numpty.urbanup.com/2527455
15. (numpty) (22↑, 20↓)
e.g a bit of an idiot someone who is a bit of a [novice]

"he's a fucking numpty" OR "dont be a numpty"

16. (numpty) (3↑, 2↓)
this is what the person who spelt it 'nunty' is

twats that cani spell are pure numptys man

Author: babycakes & angeldelight http://numpty.urbanup.com/4505793
17. (Numpty) (7↑, 6↓)
Someone who has had a momentary lapse in judgement and done something ignorant or stupid.

Person A: leaves their car keys in the fridge when getting a glass of milk. Person B: " why were your car keys in the fridge you numpty

18. (Numpty) (14↑, 13↓)
Someone who confidently asserts themselves towards a false truth in the presence of others. Even when the rest of the people there know that they are completely wrong.

Given the choice of a shovel or a ladder to get out of a hole, they have dug themselves, a numpty would confidently choose the shovel\!

19. (Numpty) (0↑, 0↓)
Someone who is such a dumbass, he keep safeties under his enemy's turf. A bloke that cries like a baby when he loses.

"Awww Shaggly you f************ing numpty\!\! You couldn't hide a pin the freakin NYC.

Author: mimosabaicfriend http://numpty.urbanup.com/6329971
20. (numpty) (0↑, 0↓)
A SILLY PERSON,WHO DOSENT MEAN NO MALLISE....

TO BE CALLED A "NUMPTY" IS A NICE WAY TO BE CALLED A "SILLY PERSON"

21. (numpty) (0↑, 0↓)
A person who is incapable of performing the simplest of task correctly. Usual symptoms include poor hand-eye coordination, zero common sense and the general illusion that they are special (caused by parents referring to them as such and the numpty not fully grasping the meaning implied). Common causes are being dropped as a baby or repeated heavy blows to head in later life.

person1: Jeff could you pass me the pen? Jeff: ooops\! (while dropping the pen) Person1: Jeff you're such a numpty\!

Author: punchlinestapler http://numpty.urbanup.com/5230831
22. (numpty) (9↑, 10↓)
computer illiterate people that really think the computer can think for itself, cook its own dinner and do the ironing, will have the ultimate answer to everything and doesnt need any numpty input.

The numpty always rings customer services because they can't find the "any" key\!\!\!

Author: numpty dodger http://numpty.urbanup.com/2022460
23. (numpty) (6↑, 9↓)
paul the scaffolder from m/boro i work with

paul you numpty get up hear.

24. (numpty) (8↑, 11↓)
a person who is stupid

You are a numpty

25. (numpty) (12↑, 15↓)
A bit of a tit

Beat it ya numpty, before I chin ye

26. (Numpty) (2↑, 6↓)
Usually associated with members of the Engineering fraternity in their first year of employment.They originate from Louth and can be found driving clapped out BMWs.

People with high opinions of themselves

27. (numpty) (6↑, 10↓)
A person who just doesn't really fit into the conversation, some bizzare comment is made totally irrelevant to the subject

"You cheesy numpty"

28. (numpty) (21↑, 25↓)
noun, substantive; person who is a complete ass in every way

Joseph Sarandos, the moderator, user and subject of discussion at forum.searchingjenin.com, is the chief of all numpties

29. (numpty) (16↑, 20↓)
A complete blooming idiot, one who needs to have one's eyes slapped out. A candidate for the Darwin Awards.

That Hammock is a f**king numpty\!

30. (numpty) (6↑, 11↓)
numpty (numpti) noun, [col, nowt in, empty] One who makes it so apparent to the average motorist that they are completely unsuited to the technology and complexity of guiding a vehicle on the Queens highway that they should be stopped, dragged from that vehicle, slapped about the head with a copy of the highway code and made to use public transport. Thus making said Queens highway more accessable to Pistonheaders

see also: muppet

31. (NUMPTY) (9↑, 14↓)
Canadian Forces term for someone who is a complete idiot ( and we are not allowed to swear at them any longer)

Example == Infantry Usage == Look out it's the numpty boys

32. (numpty) (7↑, 13↓)
someone who spends two hours every day, looking at their bum in the mirror. Especially of Scottish origin.

Jason off Big Brother

Author: Vanessa Nimmo http://numpty.urbanup.com/832487
33. (numpty) (6↑, 12↓)
Numpty: 1. a rare carcenogenic orchid native to the congo driven from there natural habitat by migrant guatemalan farmers and the north american grey squirrel now indigenous to the interior of 21 ft scaffold tubes marked with yellow paint. 2. a pre-pubescant sewer rat.

Usage: CEO of SGB (Scaffold Gt Britain): Ted I wonder if the Numpties will bloom early this year? Dynorods bright young starlet/Yolanda enthusiast: DON'T NONE OF YOU NUMPTIES MOVE OR ILL EXECUTE EVERY MOTHERFUCKING SINGLE ONE OF YA\!\!\!

Author: Cheekygreenmug http://numpty.urbanup.com/464801
34. (Numpty) (4↑, 10↓)
A term of endearment by Rab C Nesbitt before he nuts you\!

Cum 'ere ya numpty before I put the heid on ye

35. (Numpty) (0↑, 6↓)
See Bufty

See Bufty

36. (numpty) (8↑, 14↓)
Someone who sells a share a long way before its true value has been realised. Usually because they're panicked by a temporary fall in the market. Always relates to a private investor, and a specialised definition of numpty is when institutional investors are buying, but the private investors (the numpties) are selling.

'Look at that numpty who sold pre-market. He's been spooked by the market-makers.'

37. (numpty) (0↑, 6↓)
****-bag; a total douche; Stuck up froggin' old bag.

That douche is such a numpty\!

38. (numpty) (3↑, 9↓)
A uptight savage aristo wannabe you supports a team of losers.

That f**king tom carter.....by definition is a numpty\!\!

39. (NUMPTY) (2↑, 9↓)
THE WORD NUMPTY INFACT STARTED IN YORKSHIRE NOT SCOTLAND \!\!\!\!\! its meanings are ;- a) Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others. b) A good humoured admonition, a term of endearment c) A reckless, absent minded or unwise person d) a idiot

a) "No. That wasnt wat she meant, ya big numpty\!" b) i.e. "Silly billy", "You big dafty" c) "That numpty's driving his car with no lights on\!"

40. (Numpty) (6↑, 13↓)
A very small person much like the last in the series of russion nesting dolls. The small people tend to have long curly blond hair and suck there thumbs a little more than they should considering there at uni.

Rhiannon is a dumb Numpty who sucks her thumb.

Author: Neal Hugedong http://numpty.urbanup.com/3044183
41. (numpty) (1↑, 8↓)
pillock, prick, moron, asshole, warren pryor

you complete and utter numpty.

42. (numpty) (8↑, 15↓)
A Total Fcuking Idiot

"That Ian coulby is a total Numpty"

43. (numpty) (5↑, 12↓)
a man who is the eqivalent to a [blonde] or [bimbo] The villiage idiot

'shit that cop has just caught that guy with crack' 'Wat a Numpty'

44. (numpty) (17↑, 24↓)
complete idiot whose iq ranges from 0-1

brian mcfadden (aka tubby) is a numpty

45. (numpty) (2↑, 9↓)
When ones balls and dick stick to the side of there leg, usually after sitting for long periods of time

After math claas i had the biggest numpty

46. (numpty) (2↑, 9↓)
a self centred oppinionated iq searching sociopath called kev...who cannot dance gets a sad on at every occasion and spends all his time sucking up to the likes of David Brent..... he might also have a middle management jobby in the council.. and drives a souped up audi.

quote..."which numpty shot my car"

Author: plain but smart http://numpty.urbanup.com/1501795
47. (numpty) (3↑, 10↓)
a person who is silly /bit is a idiot

ginga ya numpty\!\!\!\!\!\!\!

48. (numpty) (6↑, 13↓)
a realy stupid silly person

'hahahahahaha ur such a numpty'said bitch fries funnily.

49. (numpty) (13↑, 20↓)
Someone who cannot figure out how to open a Jaguar using the manafacturer's key.

When the car is more intelligent than the driver. Mike you are a complete numpty, take it back to where you bought it from and tell them you are too thick to drive it..

50. (Numpty) (6↑, 13↓)
A person who continues to be immature and stupid. someone who is offensive and annoying.

the people who write things on here being incredibly offensive to homosexuals and 'Emo kids'. just for the record i am not either of these, yet i can see that what people are writing is out of order by a long shot\! i think y'all should grow up and get a life...are you not human? do you not see that other people have feelings? shit you are all so prejudice and cruel\!

51. (numpty) (6↑, 13↓)
Bollington is full of them and it is the cricket clubs favourite word

bollington is numptyville look at those numptys

52. (numpty) (4↑, 11↓)
Someone who does not know what a Numpty is - typically based in the Good Ol' US of A.

Frequently works for someone like Joe from the Button Factory and sometimes has long blonde hair

53. (Numpty) (1↑, 8↓)
Known throughout Essex as "A Morgan"

I'll just have to bin and grear it Having a laugh at my suspense

54. (numpty) (3↑, 10↓)
Someone who has a strange way round of doing and saying things. A Member of a well formed stage crew in England. Hence the nick name

James you Numpty\!\!\!

55. (numpty) (7↑, 14↓)
a dumbass

simon penrose is a numpty

Author: jasontheargonaut http://numpty.urbanup.com/453833
56. (numpty) (5↑, 12↓)
A twat from Corby

a right Numpt

57. (numpty) (3↑, 10↓)
A numpty is a person of great dopiness, always buffooing around, and dropping things.

Eh Meark ye great nump-teh, get to the toilet next time.

Author: Mavis McBeardwart http://numpty.urbanup.com/319715
58. (numpty) (10↑, 17↓)
Bobby Gould, the manager of Cheltenham Town Football Club

The sooner that numpty gets the sack, the better.

59. (numpty) (8↑, 15↓)
Most people that drive Nissan Micras, invariably the male numpty wears a hat and fondly recalls bumbling along in his old Allegro.

Woah watch out for that numpty

60. (numpty) (4↑, 11↓)
Someone with the surname Murphy who tries all day to piss everyone off.

Phil, you are a numpty.

Author: Denumptificator http://numpty.urbanup.com/185830
61. (numpty) (4↑, 11↓)
A term of endearment used by members of an IT team in an electricity company used to describe their now ex-boss.

What's Numpty on about now?

Author: MILLA03 aka Stuart Millard http://numpty.urbanup.com/141151
62. (numpty) (5↑, 12↓)
A Lincolnshire inbred local yokel

Go to Lincolnshire theres loads of em\!

63. (numpty) (2↑, 9↓)
an eejit, a complete lourdes

Clare Young from Portaferry

64. (NUMPTY) (1↑, 9↓)
Someone who is as numb as the day is long. When said person makes a stupid error no one else would ever do, or admit to anyway.

"You Numpty" you've just run over the cat\!. The shear numptyness of the man was unbelievable.

Author: jill harrison http://numpty.urbanup.com/2065402
65. (numpty) (3↑, 11↓)
someone who uses an internet message board or chat room and comes across a bit daft

*see the general discussion board on www.audiogalaxy.com

66. (Numpty) (1↑, 9↓)
An excellent beer (OG1044 4.2% abv)brewed at the microbrewery of The Ram’s Head, Wakefield Road, Sowerby Bridge, West Yorkshire HX6 2AZ. Have too many and you turn into one....

glug.... burp..........

67. (numpty) (3↑, 11↓)
A word used to describe someone from Congleton who drives a Silver Hyundai sports car.

Look at him - he's a right numpty

68. (NUMPTY) (4↑, 12↓)
NUMP-TEE someone so stupid that he starts fights with evil b*****ds like satan and ME\! also he has the muscle tension of a Kit-kat and can not even lift a computer monitor on his own

(see also) martin friend

69. (numpty) (3↑, 11↓)
A short grey haired easily irritated Citizens Advice Bureau Advisor
70. (numpty) (6↑, 14↓)
Female drver

The tarts a numpty. Got a license from flashing nice tits & a bit of flange.

71. (numpty) (4↑, 12↓)
A guy who always stands as close as possible to you when at the urinal and who you are sure is sneaking a peak...

My friend John-Roy is a real numpty I caught him checking out the goods...

72. (numpty) (1↑, 9↓)
a stoner named ackey dwyer

dont need one..he's a numpty

73. (numpty) (4↑, 12↓)
Something large, obvious and outdated, designed for idiots to use

The numpty buttons on the screen make the application simple to use and easy to navigate

74. (numpty) (2↑, 10↓)
An 80 year old vintage glider pilot who thinks it's ok to thermal below 800' on a ridge

"What are those numpties doing over that ridge?"

75. (numpty) (1↑, 9↓)
a funding officer who loses track of project spending and lands everyone in the shit

him, yes thats right, the numpty\!

76. (numpty) (2↑, 10↓)
Small and rotund. Abused and loved.

"Where's my numpty?"

77. (numpty) (2↑, 10↓)
Anything or anybody who is so xxxxing stupid as to pxxx off. A word that can be substitued for less politically correct words often found offensive by the fairer sex

You xxxxing numpty

78. (numpty) (2↑, 10↓)
20 stone,15 month old toddler,with 300 teeth and congealed snot/drool oozing from every facial orafice.

offspring of elton john

79. (numpty) (2↑, 10↓)
Andy Flynn

oh god it's that scouse numpty again

Author: geoff titman http://numpty.urbanup.com/27895
80. (numpty) (2↑, 11↓)
though recently adopted to simply mean 'idoit, fool, muppet' Numpty is a medical word for the small section of skin in the female gentials between the vagina and anus.

'nice numpty' quite a mouthfull

Author: mattaeus rose http://numpty.urbanup.com/1399280
81. (numpty) (4↑, 13↓)
Description of person who can't create a second page in a booklet in MS Word

Oh, Pavlina, you numpty, you're doing ma heed in\!

82. (numpty) (3↑, 12↓)
you are born a numpty you cant just become one. Stolenbaby is the Queen of numpties numpty has many differeemnt ways of insulting, humouring and or complimenting a person.

Numptyface NumptyBrain NumptyBrigade U NUMPTY\!

Author: Toni Jordan aka Stolenbaby http://numpty.urbanup.com/760973
83. (numpty) (2↑, 11↓)
A certain person who works 9 days on and 5 days off at our place of work.

Those numpty flexi workers are useless.

84. (numpty) (6↑, 15↓)
Someone who does not know the difference between a MB and a GB...

Daz you Numpty, BT aint gonna cap your limit at 15MB

85. (numpty) (1↑, 10↓)
a bastard turnip

you fucking numpty mr murray

86. (numpty) (1↑, 10↓)
A member of Totalgames who was also previously an egg.

I ought to numpty you (register you in totalgames, or make you an omelette)

87. (numpty) (1↑, 11↓)
Patrick Numpty Carolan

Is a silly b*ll*cks from County Louth who drives a clapped out BMW. A complete know all who is so fond of himself that he would crawl up his own arse.

Author: All in production.Engineering,Quality,Wood,etc http://numpty.urbanup.com/1022060
88. (numpty) (3↑, 13↓)
A denizen of Acomb North Yorkshire, who sports an institutional haircut, has hands like shovels and makes indiscriminate hog noises.

Eeeeh, you numpt-eh\!

89. (numpty) (2↑, 12↓)
Slightly ditzy and insane to the point that no object is safe.

What sort of numpty are you

90. (Numpty) (1↑, 12↓)
No kiddin'. A numpty is a wee gob stopper ( for you English a small round hard sweet similar in size to an aniseed ball). I've had a box.

Stop sookin' all those numpties - you'll get plukes and you're ugly enough

91. (NUMPTY) (6↑, 17↓)
Someone who calls himself Chickey and has ginger hair

The Chickey is a right numpty

92. (numpty) (2↑, 13↓)
anyone who would pronouce word this as nump-tee Should be nump-tay

you are a complete numpty, you can't even pronounce the word.

Author: Robbie the pict http://numpty.urbanup.com/200595
93. (Numpty) (11↑, 23↓)
Noun: Numpty Adjective: Numptious Adverb: Numptiously Verb: to Numpt........ Noun phrase: "the height of numptiousness\!"

Definition: Some-one who spends their time declining avant-garde vernacular into imaginary grammatical components....... Yeah that means....... errr me\!

94. (numpty) (5↑, 17↓)
The piece of flesh between your A*** Hole and your Private parts.

I had the runs so bad it was dribbling down my numpty

95. (numpty) (5↑, 17↓)
martin friend i.e buggers up pc's just by looking at them also see: wong johnny curse of
96. (NUMPTY) (8↑, 21↓)
A person over 50 years of age, who is bad tempered, always wears a cap, sounds like a sheep and is a yard manager in Wilsons Auctions in Portadown.

Wenty you numpty bitch

97. (numpty) (10↑, 24↓)
A dopey northerner

Paul Robinson is a numpty

Author: Ashley Wilson http://numpty.urbanup.com/279552
98. (Numpty) (2↑, 18↓)
Dirty Yuppie and Miggers being tools.

'Gorillaz are better than Radiohead' is a numpty statement. '20gb? 40gb?' is also a very numpty statement.

99. (NUMPTY) (1↑, 17↓)
The 2003 Pool Champion.

He is a Numpty

100. (numpty) (12↑, 29↓)
eejit

Neil Tennant is a numpty.

101. (numpty) (3↑, 22↓)
a real ditzy blonde from out in the sticks. she smells sheep and really likes someone called **** WOHOO YA NUMPTY\!\!\!\!\!\!\!

cLARE

102. (numpty) (10↑, 32↓)
A person, who, for their public personality seems as if they can be compared to the pleasant 'Humpty Dumpty'... but when in the comfort of being alone in their room takes out the Jack Daniels and wacks off to a taped episode of Sesame Street.

When u donate to the Boy Scouts just to see them jump for joy

Related: idiot, fool, muppet, retard, stupid, eejit, moron, twat, pillock, thick, dick, prat, daft, plonker, spanner, tosser, arsehole, chav, cretin, fuckwit, loser, silly, tool, wanker, black knees, bo fro, cock, cunt, dickhead, douchebag, gar\!, imbecile, mong, noob, numbskull, numpties, numptwell, numptyesque, spamhead, thicko
Last updated: 2012.03.01

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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  • numpty — /num(p)ˈti/ (chiefly Scot) noun An idiot ORIGIN: Perh from obs nump * * * numpty 8 [numpty] [ˈnʌmpti] [ˈnʌmpti] (pl. numpties) noun …   Useful english dictionary

  • numpty — UK [ˈnʌmptɪ] / US or numptie UK / US noun [countable] British informal an insulting word for a person who is stupid or who does something badly …   English dictionary

  • Numpty — Wikipedia does not have an encyclopedia article for Numpty (search results). You may want to read Wiktionary s entry on numpty instead.wiktionary:Special:Search/numpty …   Wikipedia

  • numpty — I Canadian Slang someone who is none too swift , see bag of shit . II Scottish Vernacular Dictionary Numb tea. A useless individual. Example: See that John Swinney? He s a right numpty, see that Jack McConnel? He s a real numpty. III Glesga… …   English dialects glossary

  • Numpty — when some one is being really silly and u dont know how to describe them Ohh you are such a Numpty! …   Dictionary of american slang

  • Numpty — when some one is being really silly and u dont know how to describe them Ohh you are such a Numpty! …   Dictionary of american slang

  • numpty — noun An idiot or fool …   Wiktionary

  • numpty — noun (plural numpties) Scottish informal a stupid or ineffectual person. Origin prob. from numps a stupid person …   English new terms dictionary

  • numpty — Noun. A fool, idiot. Also spelt numbty and numptie. Orig. Scottish …   English slang and colloquialisms

  • numptie — numpty UK [ˈnʌmptɪ] / US or numptie UK / US noun [countable] British informal an insulting word for a person who is stupid or who does something badly …   English dictionary

  • List of British words not widely used in the United States — Differences between American and British English American English …   Wikipedia

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